Thursday, 14 January 2010

Global Warning!!!!!

When inspiration strikes at 3 in the morning,
This poem should be read with a Government Health Warning!!!
(Fortunately my humour vein seems to have surfaced!!!)

I've seen all the films that they've shown to the masses,

About harmful effects of the worst greenhouse gases,

It has never affected me, until now-

I am producing the methane of a large Fresian cow!!

I've produce enough methane to fill a balloon,

I'm getting so tired, I hope it ends soon!

The pain that it causes, as it moves around,

Is worse than the "op" itself, so I have found!

If I was a horse, they'd stab me with a knife,

To deflate the intestine and thus save my life!

If a pin should go close to my stomach inflated,

I'll fizz off in a flash, like a balloon that's deflated!

Please don't come near me with a naked flame,

I'm sure I'll combust, and that would be a shame!

So if you've had the same problem - 'post operative wind,'

And you can shed light on how it can be binned,

I'd love to know how to reduce "Swelly Belly"

So I can relax, craft, read and watch telly!

Just crafted two appropriate thank you cards, I need to write today! TFLx


SueB said...

LOL!! CC is is just brilliant!!! And sooo funny too! Well done, although sorry to hear you're in so much pain, that's not fun!
Hope you're feeling better soon!
Suzie xxxx :)

craftattack said...

Hmmmmm, make sure you open the window!

SusieJ said...

Zantac or a laxative - for speedy relief.
So sorry you're suffering CC but a brilliant poem!
Sue xx

sue-bubbles said...

NOOOOOO Valerie, she mustnt open a window...or she will 'blow raspberry sounds' out of said window and we will never see her again lol!

Im sorry CC, I dont have any remedies...I guess all I can say is, time is great deflater and I hope you are feeling more comfy by the minute!

As always, a great poem and lovely cards too..very apt!
Sue x

Sandra said...

oh you poor thing I feel so sorry for you. I hope you feel better soon :) ... have to say love the cards though :)

Rosemary said...

That is so funny, make me remember how I felt. glad your sense of humour is returning. How did I shift it, gentle walking helped me and (pardon me) letting it go. just make sure you are on your own when you do LOL

Hi I'm Maria... said...

oh CC, fab poem and sorry to say you did make me smile with it, sorry...

hope you're feeling better today and managed to let some go (so to speak)

maria x

mrs tsv said...

lol cc, thats brilliant! your ditty that is and not your wind. have you tried gripe water, what you give little babies, it might help.
hope you feel better real soon.
gentle hugs
gina xxxxxxxx

furrypig said...

Hi Just discovered your blog and it's fab! I had a hysterectomy laparoscopically 4 years ago. I used to go on the USA site Hyster sisters loads as there was always someone around and they were really helpful with all my questions. I seem to remember I bought some specific tablets for the gas problem but can't remember what they are! sorry and good luck with your recovery don't do too much too soon!