Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Journaling............. Do you get it??? Part 2

Here is the extract I referred to in my post two days ago. I found this earlier this week, written after the death of MIL Jan 2003 when the children were 11 and 8.

When forced to consider death as inevitable, it focus’s the mind, when faced with questions from Chris, that I felt unable to answer, it makes you realise how little you know. You can get to middle age without confronting the death of someone in your immediate family. At what age would it be dealt with best? None! Too young and the children can’t remember their grandparents, too old and they have to face torment and sadness. Would it be better not to know one’s grandparents and not mourn their passing? Or know them intimately and experience true grief? Will the lasting memories outweigh the pain and sorrow further down the line? Will life ever be the same again? Our happy-go-lucky approach to each day will disappear. Will it ever return? Will we be able to laugh and enjoy life as we did before?

Many questions crop up during mourning, many of which I cannot answer. We all deal with death in different ways. One must clear out and move forward, but not to the point that the mourned is completely removed from existence. Life must go on for the rest of us, no matter how hard. They say time heals, we wont know for a while yet.
Until you witness death, you do not realise how much we set store by things that don’t matter. Belongings, beauty, even our most treasured possessions are worthless. Just things for others to have to deal with, but also a record of what was important to us. Who will get so-and-so when you’re gone? Does it matter? What do we keep and what must go?

Written Jan 2003 after the death of Margaret Elizabeth

How different this recent death has been. With the cancer destroying him, we only wished it could have been less prolonged and are in fact relieved that he is now out of pain. This is what I shall scrap with her photo.
See how important journaling is? (For those of you still to be converted!) I had forgotten how difficult it was to get over her death, this has made me remember those feelings. It proves we have moved on. TFLx

1 comment:

CoventryAnn said...

Very moving journalling, and you are right it was the best thing to write it at that time, rather than leave it. I think it can be hard to scrapbook about people we love who have died, especially when the grief is so raw, but to write down your feelings then and there and scrap them later is the perfect compromise.
And yes... I still get journalling, no need to convert me!